Students ... first?

My new raise!

2007-02-06T21:33:00.000-08:00

Yahoo! I must be doing a GREAT job as Vice Chancellor of Student Affairs at UMass - I just got a $13,596 raise from last year!

Check out what I bought with my new raise:

Damn rioting students!

2007-02-06T21:19:00.000-08:00

The riots of last semester have me so frustrated! I spent the last 3 years at UMass putting 350 security cameras everywhere on campus, putting cops to patrol inside the dorms, and kicking out every student found with a beer in his room. I even made it damn difficult for those trouble-making brown people to get past our vigilant admissions office - I cut as many "outreach" programs as possible! And the violence and restlessness gets worse at school. What is a Vice Chancellor to do?

Bite DeGuano wrote a very interesting article in the Daily Collegian. His words mysteriously make sense to me. Particularly that bit about a "9-iron" in a velvet glove. One can never underestimate the value of using humiliation to subdue a population.

Say "No" to Segregation!

2006-03-27T21:04:00.000-08:00

Man, people sure are all up in my grill about my attempts to prevent segregation here at UMass. I don't get it! I thought people who don't like to mingle with people of other cultures were prejudiced - and everyone knows that I'm opposed to prejudice!

But no - these "ALANA" students always gotta complain. So now I've got the press and faculty crawling up my ass over my principled stand against racism in the dorms! After all, how are Cape Verdean students going to learn how to act around white people, if they don't live with them? How are those crazy Thai kids going to learn what is and isn't acceptable behavior, if they don't live alongside "normal" people? And hell - how are our white students going to learn how to treat "ALANA" students, if they don't share a room with one of them?

Man, diversity is confusing.

Not these kids AGAIN!

2006-03-17T03:40:00.000-08:00

Goddamn - I have to put up with another year of these kids?

EVERY year, these kids keep winning elections. If it isn't Eddie Bustamante, it's these "Take Back UMass" senators. If it isn't that loud-mouthed Valerie Louis, it's the loud-mouthed Mishy Leiblum.

Oh well - there's always the hope of throwing out the elections. Good thing I have a meeting with the losing team later today (although how do we throw out an election with a 900-vote [30%] margin of victory?)

"Student Government" should mean Voter Registration

2006-02-08T12:52:00.000-08:00

Damn these kids are a pain in my ass. "SCERA" wants a new director. "Everywoman's Center" wants a new director. The Office of "ALANA" Affairs wants an assistant Director. Every cultural support center wants their own director. Jesus Christ - get off my back already! I've only been here 3 years!

What the hell do students need a "Student Center for Educational Research and Advocacy" (SCERA) for, anyway!? The only goddamn "advocacy" these little bastards should be doing is collecting signatures for voter registration. Who they think they are, with a "Know Your Rights" campaign! Letting these rabble-rousers in the dorms know what their constitutional rights are just encourages them. Don't people realize that?